Disgusting. And funny.

If you've never seen our hallway bathroom, allow me to describe it to you now: The bathtub is an old-style white tub; it is deep and keeps water warm for a long time. We have a nice blue rug lying next to this tub, and from time to time while Jack plays in the bath, I lie down on the rug to rest my weary bones. Tonight, Jack pooped in the tub whilst I was in such a position, and then he threw it on me. Leslie commented that I was, "Paralyzed like no other."

The other day, when I was done with the laundry, and all my clothes were hanging in the closet, Leslie called me a "hanger snob." She made this comment because I (thanks to basic training in the USAF) hang all my shirts facing the same direction on black plastic hangers, grouping shirts by type and then by color. Also, my pants are all on pant hangers, and they too all face the same way. This is all perfectly normal.